


Rebirth Through Time

by StarrieNightSky



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, And so is Ventus, Dissociation, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Heavy Angst, Insomnia, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rarepairs need love too guys, References to Depression, Retelling, Slow Burn, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, Starvation attempts; look guys Xion is a mess in the beginning just bear with me. :'(, Suicidal Thoughts, Time Travel Fix-It, Xion is gonna get love damnit, Yeah guys these are all things Xion has to go through, to balance it out, you know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-01 15:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17870003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarrieNightSky/pseuds/StarrieNightSky
Summary: “Roxas..?” The girl whispers before slumping to the ground, eyes dim and glassy before closing.Ven simply stares at her, too shocked and confused to give a proper response.-Maybe she had been expecting neverending oblivion after her demise. Perhaps she had hoped that the pieces of her would still lie within the boy she was once created from. But never did she expect to find herself in a world so unfamiliar looking, and a boy with a face she knows all too well...An AU where Xion gets sent to the Birth By Sleep Timeline.





	1. Prologue: Falling Endlessly

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I know it’s been a hot minute since I wrote anything, but I’ve been craving a Xion and Ventus centric fanfic for a while since nobody seems to ship these two anymore. It’s always been a rare pair, but I thought it would be interesting to give it a shot. So far this chapter is only a prologue, but I plan to update with the first chapter... Once I write it. Yeah.. I’ve been having this idea in my head for weeks but I was too hesitant to write it because I don’t want to do any of the characters injustice. But then I said screw it because I need this AU y’all! Sorry this is only a prologue, but I hope to write something substantial soon. Please bear with me! ^^

First came the numbness.

No doubt this is something she had come to expect. It’s what comes with merging back with the person you were once created from, albeit poorly. You simply become an entity, a remnant of something that was once alive. And then you vanish, doomed to oblivion as you wonder what could have been. All the friends you shouldn’t have made. All the moments that you were never supposed to experience. And even the memories that would soon cease to exist.

Second, and inevitably, darkness came after the poor soul as she found herself falling. Falling endlessly.

_All I am... Are specks of light... Is this what it’s like to be nonexistent? A perpetual state of purgatory as I feel myself slip away?_

A name. Is it possible to start forgetting your own name?

_Xi..._

_Xi..._

That’s all she could remember. Without a body and instead having a fragmented heart, Xion found herself struggling to mention even the most basic of things. But how is it she managed to communicate with Riku when her friend irrationally tried to fix something far too broken to repair?

Questions race through the dying spirit as the memories begin to flood back. The pain... The way she betrayed the two people who mattered most to her...

Xion can feel what’s left of her break more and more.

 _Oh well... it’s not so bad..._ Xion tries to convince herself as more and more specks of light become dimmer. There was no point doing anything anymore, and fighting back the inevitable would only cause more pain.

Just when she felt everything fall apart, when the last bit of her soul faded back to oblivion, back to Sora...

“Xion!” All too familiar voices scream, and suddenly she can feel wind and cold. All at once she feels physical pain, and her crystalline body parts return to what could be considered as “flesh and bone,” though with very big quotation marks. Who’re those voices? Could they be..?

 

_Axel? Roxas?! Where are you?! I... I’m-_

 

Afraid... Xion has never felt so afraid in her entire existence. Can Nobodies feel fear?

 

 

 

In a state of shock that her body is granted back to her, tears run down her pale, sullen face. It’s so dark, and she’s still falling falling falling-

 

A bright light engulfs her all at once and she doesn’t have time to think before she disappears again.

 

Time stops. Then rewinds.

 

 

 

 


	2. From Oblivion to the Land of Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Land of Departure is in full autumn and two apprentices prepare for the most important day of their life. Meanwhile, a boy finds a girl from Oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this chapter got long! I wasn't expecting it to turn out this long, but I got into Terraqua mode and made some cute moments between the two since I couldn't control myself. T-T Anyways, here's the chapter you all have been waiting for! I'm honestly satisfied with how this turned out, but I may be a little rusty with the writing so I can't promise perfect grammar. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I do, and don't worry! There's more to come! ;)

The sounds of metal clashing with metal ring in the air as two people spar, the heat of battle ripe in the morning. Terra flings his keyblade across the battlefield against the blunette, but she gracefully dodges it _twice over_ by cartwheeling before the keyblade slashes her. She’s getting better at this, and he notes it down in his head to improve his angle in the future fights against her. Aqua retaliates with a swift entourage of ice crystals to catch him off guard. The shards of ice are narrowly dodged as he dashes away from them in a swift slide. Terra finally starts to break a sweat.

“Go, Terra! You got this!” A boyish voice cheers from the sidelines. Terra hears Ventus’ cheers and feels reinvigorated to keep fighting and improving.

Normally, the apprentices have a tight-knit schedule for everything they do. It’s the same routine as always: eat a high protein breakfast at the crack of dawn, have a personal lesson with the Master himself, and then spar until your bones turn into mush. Aqua was more than happy to knock Terra down a few pegs, especially after he beat Ventus during his last spar. Despite that, Ven always chooses to cheer for Terra, perhaps for the sheer fact alone that the earthen man seems to lose more often to the graceful magician. With newfound resolve, Terra blocks Aqua’s new blast of fire magic with ease and then proceeds to use his command style to gain some extra power. Stunned by the sudden turn of events, Aqua activates her own command style to match his strength.

Ven all but ogles at the sight, starry-eyed and fascinated by how his two friends can be so skilled. He had seen them spar many times before, but it’s not often he gets to see their command styles in action. The very act looks like a dance of movements rather than an all-out fight. Longingly, he hopes one day he can be that strong, and make both Terra and Aqua proud. The two repeat this action for about twenty more minutes. Blood, sweat, and tears went into this battle, and it seems that the two are about to be evenly matched. Eventually, both the apprentices start to feel exhausted. Terra stops paying attention to her moves due to being lost in a thoughtful daze. Seizing the opportunity, the blue mage disarms him with a set of combos.

The young man gasps as he sees his keyblade fly away from hand, landing blade first against the pavement.

The match has ended.

Terra sighs, annoyed he lost again yet he gives his former opponent a supportive smile. Clearly, he’s off his game today. No doubt she has a lot more energy to spend then he does. Additionally, he’s been working out and pumping iron for the past three hours before their scheduled spar.

Ven frowns when he sees Terra lose to Aqua again. The man has won against her before many times last week, but this week he’s acting like a novice when he’s far more skilled than that. Is something bothering him? The boy is about to run up to Terra and shower him with a bunch of compliments to cheer him up before he’s interrupted.

“Well done both of you,” a wise voice congratulates, bringing the attention of the two students.

The two of them bow respectfully to their Master; eager to hear the much-needed feedback he may have to offer. Their Master smiles proudly at both of them, but it turns into a frown when he notices the young man’s hidden disappointment,

“Terra, you performed valiantly, yet you still seem distracted. You must always keep your guard up, no matter what. Aqua may be weaker in regards to physical strength, but you must learn to overcome her speed if you hope to improve,” the old Master advises, a hint of disappointment in his tone.

Terra winces when he catches his tone of dejection, but remains stoic.

“Yes Master,” he declares with newfound determination. Mater Eraqus nods before telling them to rise. The two apprentices arise from their bow, beckoning their master to continue.

“As you both know, you must be ready to exploit each other’s weaknesses if you hope to be successful in battle. When against a worthy opponent you must always remember to never let emotions cloud your judgment. It could give your foe room to use it to their advantage. This goes to both of you, but especially you Terra.” Eraqus explains in a firm tone.

The young man nods with affirmation. The Master proceeds to land his hand on Terra’s shoulder, causing him to look up. He smiles at him, eyes still shining with pride for this young man.

“You two have earned a break. Meet me back the main hall for additional instruction later,” he tells them. After their quick meeting, Eraqus leaves to enter back into the building, leaving Aqua and Terra at the courtyard with Ven.

Tension is thick in the air after their spar, and Ven can’t help but notice it. Hoping to comfort him, the blonde runs towards the dejected young man,

“Terra! I still think you were so cool! I want you to know that,” Ven gushes, admiration clear in his voice. The man being addressed gets out of his daze and notices his friend. He gives him a reassuring smile, as if to let him know that nothing is wrong.

“Don’t worry, Ven! I was just distracted, I’ll get better in no time,” he reassures, rubbing the young blonde’s hair affectionately. Aqua steals a quick glance at Terra, gears turning in her head as she tries to read him. Sure she hadn’t gone easy on him, but neither did he. She wonders why he’s so out of it lately. Perhaps it’s because of what the Master had told the two of them the week before.

 _‘We have decided a date for your Mark of Mastery examinations,’_ She remembers clearly.

Six months.

It’s… Really not a lot of time, huh?

“Terra, are you okay, really?” She asks softly, concern shining in her eyes. The man looks at her kind eyes and feels his heart race. ‘Damn, this is so embarrassing.’ He thinks in his head. Aqua would no doubt make fun of him for being nervous about the next six months. How can she be so calm about it, he wonders?

He grins at her, hoping to emulate his lack of nervousness, “I’m fine Aqua, no worries. Just have a lot on my mind lately,” he admits, eyes shying away from the young woman. Aqua gives him a skeptical look before walking up to him. He backs away only to be stopped by a sudden hand grab. When he sees her sincere face of worry, he can’t help but crumble under her gaze.

“Ven, can you give us some alone time? I need to talk to Terra,” She asks softly.

Ventus perks up at that. Maybe Aqua knows why he’s acting so weird. While Terra is definitely one of his best friends in the whole world, Aqua always knows how to talk to Terra about anything. If anyone could do it, it’s Aqua.

Respecting her wish, he runs off to the forested areas of the castle grounds to go do some private training of his own.

 

The two watch Ventus run off into the forest, knowing he can handle himself so long as he keeps his promise to stay in the enclosed area.

 

* * *

 The grassy area by the training gear always provided the best view in the entire land. The ledge allowed anyone to see the sunrise or sunset at the appropriate times, and the wind always blows towards the direction of the cliff, perfect for autumn evenings when it gets far too hot. In this case, however, it’s a great area to ponder one’s worries or fear of the future.

Aqua and Terra sit at the ledge, admiring the view of the grasslands below. They don’t talk, at least not yet. Aqua is well aware that sometimes just being in each other’s presence is enough to calm Terra. After a few more moments though, the silence is broken,

“Aqua… I-I’m sorry I haven’t been on my A-game. It’s just… What the Master told us… It’s gotten me a little riled up all week long,” The young man normally never admits his problems. Didn’t want anyone to worry, he supposes. But if Aqua weren’t so perceptive, he probably would have kept it bottled up until his emotions overflowed.

 "I figured as much… To be honest, I feel the same. I always knew we’d have our exam eventually. But to know we only have six months left… I guess it made it feel all the more real,” she deduces, peeling off every nerve and worry that bridled her soul.

“Exactly! I know the Master knows best, but we only recently became fulltime apprentices! I want to be a Keyblade Master… More than anything. But what if I’m not ready..? I couldn’t even beat you all week during sparring… I don’t want to freeze up like that during the actual exam as well,” he laments.

The blunette notices his inner fear of the unknown and moves over to grab his hand again. He jumps at the contact and looks at her once again. Aqua tends to grab his hand a lot when she wants to tell him something important, but this time it felt more earnest than usual.

“Terra. I promise I’ll support you in everything you do in order to prepare for the exam. I know you’re worried about it now that it’s so close, but if the Master thinks we’re almost ready then there’s no reason to be afraid.” She reassures with a spark in her eyes.

Terra has to will himself to keep his heart under control from beating out of his chest, but he feels better after hearing her willingness to support him. He places his larger hand on top of the young woman’s, and nods affirmatively,

“Yeah, you’re right! If Master Eraqus thinks we’ll be ready soon, then that means we’ll be more than capable of accomplishing our dream.”

Aqua gives him a bright grin, her heart shining with happiness.

 

She’s so glad she decided to talk to him.

 

She’s even happier that she was able to make him feel at ease about the whole thing.

 

Perhaps now Terra can get his head back into the game and prove himself to be stronger than he seems.

 

He’s more than earned his spot among the masters.

 

* * *

 Rivulets of sunlight peer through the leafy trees of the forest. Since autumn is in full bloom, the trees have multicolored leaves and some fell onto the grass below. Below a barren tree is a blonde boy, who’s lying on a makeshift bed out of leaves.

Ven holds up a wooden keyblade to the air as he waves it around absentmindedly. Staring at the toy makes his heart sink a little. It reminds him of Terra, and consequentially, his strange behavior. Terra had been fine a week ago, why now was he beginning to act weirdly? In all his time at the Land of Departure, Ven has never seen Terra be anything but determined and eager. Sure, he had his off days, but never for this long.

Ven sighs and tries not to think about it too much. It’s Terra; he’ll be back to normal once Aqua straightens him out! Maybe he just ate something sweet and didn’t it sit well with him. Something silly.

The blonde sat up and decided to go take a stroll around the forest to clear his head. He gets off the improvised bed he made and walks away, wooden keyblade still in hand. Without a doubt, Ven knows he still has a long way to go before he can catch up to Terra and Aqua in terms of strength and prowess, but it only makes him feel more determined to improve.

He doesn’t remember all the details of how he first came to this place, but he’s fully aware that he’s been here long enough to make some strides to being the best keyblader he can be.

 

“Time to go back to training,” Ventus murmurs to himself, ready to head back to the castle.

.

.

.

**_VROOM!_ **

 

“GAH!” Ven yelps with a startle, whipping his head towards the direction of the loud buzzing noise.

 

The leafy autumn trees rustle when the sky begins to tear apart in grotesque lines and cracks. It's as if the very sky above had broken like shattered glass, except rather than being transparent like glass, within the cracks are pure black light. The black light from those cracks clash with the bright blue of the sky it came from, making it very hard to miss even to the naked eye. Ven has never seen anything like it, and it scares him to death. The void at the center pulsates like a heartbeat; as if it leads to a place far less desirable than the one he’s currently in. 

Alarmed, Ventus draws out his keyblade, expecting trouble. Sweat begins to form on his forehead, a raw fear setting in. He's never felt this unsettled before, not since-

Not since... He first came here. His grip on the keyblade remains tight, dread overflowing in his mind. His hold loosens, however, when a figure appears from the ominous portal. The boy’s eyes when he realizes it’s a person.

 

“They’re falling!” Ventus panicked before speeding over to the direction of the falling figure. Thankfully, since his specialty is speed, he was making great strides to get there as quickly as possible. The closer he got, the more he failed to realize he had left the enclosed area. Not like it matters though, in his mind someone needs help, and if he has to go to a forbidden territory to do it, he will! The closer he got, the more he could see the mysterious figure. With lightning fast speed, he jumps on a nearby tree and propels himself high into the air. Finally, he catches them before impacting on to the ground feet first, causing some minor scrapes on his knees but nothing deep enough to draw blood. Sweating and disoriented, he glances at the person’s face.

“A… A girl?” he whispers, shocked that she had managed to fall into this place without warning.

The person in his arms looks female, with raven black hair and dark long lashes. She wore a black coat with matching gloves and boots. Whoever she is, she must be from another world. Ven found himself staring at her, and unconsciously a blush starts to form on his face. 

 _Wow... She’s really pretty..._ Ven noted mentally, his blue eyes shining with awe. Sure, Aqua's pretty as well, but this girl possibly from another world is like the stuff of fairytales. He swears she can be a princess. 

After a moment too long of just staring at her, Ven wakes up from his awkward stare of admiration. His face reddens even more when he realizes how stupid he’s acting. “Gah! Get yourself together, Ven! She needs your help, dummy!” He scolds to himself, slapping his face with both of his hands. 

The blonde boy honestly hasn’t seen another girl other than Aqua in a long... Long time. He doesn’t even recall meeting another girl at all before... Before... 

 _Before what?_   Ven wonders. He’s always been here, right? When the blonde realizes he's getting distracted again, he immediately shifts gears and tries to poke and prod at the young lady to see if she reacts to anything. Ven tries waking her up, but then her eyes begin fluttering open on their own. She winces, feeling her whole body ache with pain. Instantly, the boy leaps into action to try to get her to stand. 

“Here! L-Let me help you!” Ven stutters, attempting to help her stand by slinging her arm around his neck to help her walk back. For some reason or another though, she stands on her own, swiping her arm away from him. She backs away from the boy’s grip, cold blue eyes staring right back at him.

To put it simply, she looks like a mess. Her long black coat is roughed-up and dirty, almost as if she had been in a rough fight before appearing here. _Who is this girl?_

Panting hard, the girl glares at the boy until fear and recognition settle in her expression.

“Roxas..?” The girl whispers before slumping to the ground, eyes dim and glassy before closing.

Ven simply stares at her, too shocked and confused to give a proper response. Roxas? Who in the heck is Roxas? Nothing but questions begins to fill his head as he wonders where the girl is from and how she came here.

Is she really from another world?

Can she wield a keyblade?

If so, then who was she fighting?

Putting those questions in the backburner, for now, Ven quickly makes his way to the girl’s side and checks to see if she’s injured. For the most part, she looks okay, except for some minor bruising and the ripped clothing. He checks her pulse as well just to be safe. When he finds out she's stable but still out cold, the worry and panic finally start to really set in. 

“AQUA!!! TERRA!!” Ven blurts loudly, hoping they stayed near the forest so they can help him. However, the boy soon realizes that he has wandered away from the enclosed area at the forest, which means no one can hear him! Panic and fear threatening to seep in, Ven quickly picks up the girl and puts her on his back piggyback style.

“Please hang in there… You’ll be okay,” Ven promises, resolve flaring in his eyes. To him, it didn’t matter if she had given him the cold shoulder or not. She’s getting the help she needs, even if she’s kicking and screaming against it.

He ran as quickly as he could with the unconscious person on his back. He’s panting and gasping, the action of running making for a tough workout for his upper and lower body muscles.

“Man, you’re heavy huh?” Ven pants, not sure how much farther he has. He continues to run for another solid five minutes, and he gets back to the area he was hanging out before. Sweat is dripping from his forehead and back muscles, but he keeps on running until he sees the castle nearing closer and closer.

Finally, he collapses to his knees against the pavement, shifting the girl’s weight onto his arms.

 _My back is **killing** me… _Ven complains internally.

“VEN!” Terra and Aqua wail, fear and concern written all over their faces. Relief floods into him and his eyes light up when he sees Terra, Aqua and Master Eraqus arrive at the scene.

“Please help her!” Ven begs, still shaken from the odd event that had just transpired.

“Quick! Make sure she’s uninjured!”

“Terra, take her inside, now!”

“Yes, Master!”

Terra quickly carries the girl into his arms from Ven’s exhausted ones and nods to Aqua before running inside, Master Eraqus in tow. Aqua stays by Ven’s side to make sure he’s okay as well,

“Ven- What happened?! Where did that girl come from?”

“I don’t know- there was a portal thing and then before I knew it she was falling, and then I just-”

Aqua cuts him off by hugging him tightly and begins to run his back in a comforting manner.

“We saw it too! We were all so scared; we thought you were in trouble! But it’s going to be okay now… We’ll check on the girl, and maybe we can find out where she came from, but don’t worry…” Aqua consoles, tears of relief threatening to spill. Ventus's eyes turn downcast, the guilt of worrying his friends heavy in his heart. He should have been more careful, but weirdly enough, he doesn't regret doing what he did. If he hadn't been there, the girl could have died from the impact. The guilt of watching someone get hurt, with him doing nothing in the background..? Ven would rather eat his own foot than going through something like that. She releases from her tight embrace, holding Ven’s shoulders to make sure he’s okay.

They had all been so worried something could have happened, but she’s more than happy to see Ven is just fine. The blonde boy smiles at her, but it's strained. He’s still worried about the girl he had just saved.

“Let’s go inside. The Master will want to speak to you.”


	3. A Shoulder To Cry On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the morning's events, and Ven's realization that sometimes just being there for someone is enough. Even if they don't realize it how much they need a shoulder to cry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This took me a while to finish, but I'm happy with this chapter! I tried incorporating how I feel the BBS trio + Master Eraqus would react to a situation like this, and I feel like I did alright! Sure, there's no telling how they'd really react in canon, but this is an AU after all, so I'm taking it in strides! By the way, I also like to dabble in art from time to time, and I already drew my BBS!Xion design for this story! :D I can't wait to show you all once I get to that point, but if you want to spoil yourselves and see the design, it's on my Tumblr, which is the same username as my AO3 account, starrie-nightsky! 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and I can't wait to get started with the next chapter.

The great hall feels emptier than usual. There’s a tense quiet resounding within the castle, and if a pin drops right at this very moment, just about anyone could probably hear it. If any sound at all can be heard right now, it’s the sound of Ventus’ shoes clanking against the glass tiles of the floor as he paces back and forth in front of a large door. Being the youngest apprentice, Ven is more prone to having his emotions unchecked when dealing with stressful situations. This is one of those situations.

“Jeez, how much longer?” Ven complains to himself. He doesn’t stop pacing; if anything, it gets more erratic. Ventus isn’t sure why he’s so worried about a random girl he found falling out the sky. It’s not like he knows her or anything. He gives the question more thought, pausing his ritualistic bipedal movements. Maybe it’s because she looked roughed up; as if she had fought someone before landing here. Or perhaps he felt obligated to give a damn since it’s the decent thing to do?

 _Or because of the lost look in her eyes…_ Ven realizes, a mixture of confusion and empathy swelling in his heart. A melancholic feeling begins to take shape within him, but he’s unsure why. Ventus doesn’t recall ever feeling a sense of loss or confusion. At least, not to his knowledge. But the feeling of being lost is something Ven can imagine being very unpleasant. What if the girl has friends of her own? Or even a family? They’d be worried sick about her!

The teen knows that if he suddenly disappeared one day, Terra and Aqua would have a cow trying to look for him. Staring at the door he was pacing beside, Ven smiles fondly. He honestly doesn’t know how he’d manage without them.

Terra, Aqua and Master Eraqus are inside the room having some sort of meeting. Something about it being a ‘strict grownups only’ meeting, to which Ven thinks is seriously dumb.

“I’m just as much a part of this situation as they are, if not more. Gosh, I only want to know if she’s okay,” Ven mumbles to himself. Not a moment later, however, the sound of the door opening very quickly catches the young boy’s attention. He beams a wide grin when he sees Terra exit from the room.

“Terra! How is she? What are the master and Aqua up to?” Ven asks eagerly, innocence in his curious eyes shining ever bright.

Caught off guard by the younger’s exuberance, the older awkwardly rubs the back of his head, not even knowing where to begin.

“Aqua has been using cure spells on her for a while, but she’s not waking up. The master told me to get a room set up for her since we won’t really know who she is or where she came from until she wakes up,” The taller man explains with a cautious tone.

Ven’s smile falls when Terra shifts his eyes to the tile floors, glaring at its intricate patterns.

“You… You don’t like this…” Ven whines, knowing that if Terra’s averting his gaze, then it’s because he’s not really happy about the situation.

Terra sighs with exasperation. He honestly doesn’t know what to make of the situation. Something like this has never happened before after all. The taller man places an arm around the blonde reassuringly, “Nah, it’s just strange. This girl… She obviously must have fought someone pretty hard to get thrown out of her world, huh?” He jokes, trying to ease the tension. The punchline must have fallen flat though because the statement only raises the younger boy’s already high anxiety.

“So, she’s not awake then..? We’re not going to send her away like this, right?” Ven deflates, pouting at the revelation. He was so sure that she was fine before she even talked to him! Even if what she said was a product of confusion, but it was still a sign she should be fine.

The Master has to let her stay and recover! He just has to…

The man looks glumly at Ven. Bless his heart, he cares so much about others. He’d make a fantastic Keyblade Master one day…

Feeling a sense of brotherly affection, Terra gives him a firm, but supportive smile, “I promise she’ll be okay, Ven. We’re not going to throw her away and abandon her; _that’s not who we are_. Like we did with you, we’re going to take care of her, and make sure that she makes it through this. You have my word.” Terra promises, dead set on making it come true. No one should be left to the dust, not even this mysterious girl with raven hair. 

Filled to the brim with elation, Ventus glomps the older unceremoniously and utters a million ‘thank yous’ before skipping off to the direction of the spare rooms. Terra is dumbfounded by the exchange, only shakes his head and rolls his eyes at the younger’s antics,

“Typical Ven,” he laughs, happy he managed to cheer him up.

Master Eraqus had been wary at first, due to the nature of how she came here… But then he noticed a certain strength in her heart, and how it kept her from being swallowed by the darkness. It’s very possible she may be able to wield a keyblade of her own, but only she could reveal that herself. Still, to suddenly be dropped into the world like this, without warning? It could mean there’s danger in one of the worlds, particularly the one she came from.

 

* * *

 It’s been 5 hours since the mysterious arrival of that girl. The students, along with their teacher, have already gotten back into the motion of things. Being the weekend, training ends earlier than it does during the week, which leaves more wiggle room for other activities that the inhabitants of the castle-like structure can partake in.

For Aqua, it’s baking.

With skilled precision, Aqua cracks two eggs at once, carefully making sure to separate the whites from the yolk. For Aqua, baking is therapeutic in a way. Ever since she was young, Eraqus encouraged his students to take up additional hobbies other than training to help broaden their minds. She has to admit, if he never allowed them to do anything except train all day and night, she’d probably go mad with boredom.

Terra, on the other hand, enjoys physically exerting himself until the late hours of the day. He thrives on being physically active, so he probably wouldn’t mind the extra training so long as he’s had some rest along the way too.

For this week, Aqua decided that she would make a traditional marble cake, though she doesn’t expect Terra to actually eat it. Aqua stifles a laugh, remembering the first time Terra tried something sickeningly sweet. And hated it. Gosh, his expression was priceless!

After moments of beating the egg whites into a stiff meringue, Aqua gathers all the dry ingredients and mixes them all together. Aqua only wants to make this cake mostly because of how quick and easy it is. However, now that there’s an unexpected guest residing within the castle, she hopes she’ll be able to have a try.

The blue mage halts her mixing process, suddenly feeling a pit of dread set in her stomach.

Ever since this morning, Aqua’s been feeling concerned for the younger girl’s health. She’s still out cold, and there’s no telling when she’ll wake up. However, according to what Ven told her, the girl had been able to move and speak after her entry into this world. He said that she looked scared and confused, even going as far as to mistake her savior as someone else. Maybe she just needs time to process her situation.

“Aqua,”

The woman in question nearly drops her silicon spatula, startled by the unexpected baritone voice that came from behind her.

“Master! I didn’t expect to see you back until late in the evening,” Aqua notes, setting down her mixing bowl. Eraqus smiles gently at the young apprentice, then grabs the recipe book to see if he can help. Aqua learned everything about baking from him after all.

“Marble cake? It’s certainly been a while since we made this together,” Eraqus notes, though he isn’t displeased. It’s definitely a nice change of pace. The marble cake recipe described in the book is definitely one of his favorites; simple and the mess is easy to clean up. Aqua loves to bake, but the post-clean-up sessions are the part that she usually preferred not to take part it. But being the responsible young woman she is, she’d grin and bear it if it meant Eraqus didn't have a heart attack due to the mess.

One time when Aqua was really young, she tried baking her first lemon cake. Lets just say… The results were less than desirable. There was lemon batter _everywhere._ Poor Master Eraqus died a little when he saw the mess for the first time; he hates messes if that wasn’t obvious already. Nevertheless, Eraqus made it a point to help Aqua any time he can so that mistakes like that never happen again. Though, Aqua’s gotten so much better at cleaning up after herself post-baking. Still, one trauma is enough for this clean freak.

They continued baking together for a whole 15 minutes, not really speaking to each other except for the occasional ‘can you pass the vanilla extract?’ or ‘can you mix this?’ etc, etc. There are some days where she and Eraqus would crack jokes together, or have engaging conversations about the Age of Fairytales, but today they both rather stay quiet when baking. It’s their little activity together, and both think it has deepened their friendship, not only from a teacher-student dynamic but that of a father-daughter one too. Aqua can’t even remember what her former family was like; those days are hazy for her and Terra alike.

It’s always been Master Eraqus for them, and she honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Ventus has begun to take a liking to her,” Master Eraqus says absentmindedly, fully aware of his youngest apprentice's recent behavior. Aqua hums wistfully, barely paying attention to what he just said. When the weight of what he said sets in, however, she cannot help but agree. He’s been by her side for the past 3 hours, it’s honestly kind of sweet. But Aqua can’t deny how problematic it can be if the mysterious girl wakes up. Everyone knows Ven honestly just wants to make sure she’s okay since he probably feels guilty about letting her pass out in the first place, but Aqua makes a note to go visit the two of them after she’s put the batter in the oven.

“I know. It was inevitable,” She realizes, finally pouring the chocolate and vanilla batters together. Master Eraqus sighs, palming his face in slight frustration. Damn teenagers and their stupid hormones. If he could go back in time and fix all the mistakes his younger self made, he’d do it in a heartbeat. But this isn’t about him; it’s about Ven’s little crush that’s beginning to form.

“While the sudden interest her is purely innocent, it still rises for concern since he’s falling for a complete stranger,” Eraqus stresses, the creases in his forehead deepening.

“Master, with all due respect, she’s a person in need!” Aqua argues.

“I know, Aqua! My point is that we should still remain cautious. We do not know who she is and the void she came from was made of darkness!” The old master implores, still very on edge about the whole mess. It’s the same way he felt when he first took in Ven. That seed of doubt that Xehanort had planted in him when delivering his youngest student here for the first time…

Aqua relents a little bit when she gives what Eraqus said a little more thought. He’s… Not wrong. Without a doubt, Aqua would give anything to make sure all of her friends, no, her _family,_ are feeling safe and secured. But still, right now this girl probably has friends and family of her own, and she’s probably feeling very scared and alone right now. Surely the master must have considered that, right?

The rest of the time spent in the kitchen is filled with perpetual quiet; only the sounds of baking labor fill the atmosphere.

 

Baking is therapeutic indeed.

 

* * *

Orange lighting peers through a window, illuminating the dimly lit room that the girl resides in. Across the room sat Ventus, whose eyes begin to feel heavy after the long day he’s had. Mentally, Ven is debating whether he should leave or not. Obviously, it’s becoming more and more clear that this girl will probably stay asleep for the rest of the evening. The blonde sighs, rubbing the spiky mane on his head; he made a promise though…

He promised himself that he’d be there for her.

Ventus doesn’t take his promises lightly. He’d do the same for Terra and Aqua too. There’s nothing more important to him than his best friends, but this girl obviously has someone important in her life too. She mentioned his name earlier.

 

_Roxas…_

 

Ven’s mind wanders to that moment she confused him for someone else. But… Why would anyone confuse him for anyone? Sure it was probably nothing, but the recognition in her eyes… It’s like she genuinely thought he was this ‘Roxas’ person. It spooked her so badly that she passed out.

 _He’s probably someone very important to her,_ Ven thinks, staring off at the orange sunset out of the window.

There’s no telling what she must be feeling right now. The mere thought of this girl being away from someone very important to her; it brings a pang of great sadness to his heart. He really feels for her. Yet, her pale features give nothing away; she’s serene in her sleep.

Averting his eyes again, Ven sits with a melancholic expression- anxiously waiting for something to happen. Anything at all.

And then something does.

“No…” the mysterious girl whispers in her sleep, her expression turning grief-stricken. Ven immediately turns his attention back to her, feeling a mix of relief and worry. He quickly moves over to her side and off the chair he was sitting on. Ven gently places a hand on her shoulder, gently squeezing it, as if to reassure her.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” He whispers gently, trying not to alarm her. It doesn’t seem to work. In fact, her breathing pattern changes, a cold fear setting in her.

“Roxas..?! No… You can’t be here… You… _Killed_ me…”

The atmosphere changes. Ven’s not sure if he heard her correctly; he _hopes_ he didn’t hear her correctly. Eyes wide and mouth dry, Ven starts shaking involuntarily. Roxas tried to kill her? But why? Nothing but questions fill the blonde’s mind again; he’s never felt so much need to protect a stranger before…

The girl continues speaking incoherently, muttering words like ‘darkness,’ ‘organization,’ and what the boy can only guess is another name, ‘Axel.’

“Listen, you’re having a nightmare, miss. You need to wake up,” Ven whispers urgently, trying his best to remain calm for her sake. It doesn’t work. She’s sweating profusely now, a sign that she’s in deep stress. _She has to wake up._

“Oh no!” Ven’s exasperates as he starts to panic too. He has to get Aqua!

However, before he could run to get his friend, the girl suddenly grabs his arm in a vice-like grip. Ven turns to look at her, lips quivering in anxiousness.

“D-don’t go…” her voice cracks, tears beginning to form in her tightly closed eyes. Her whole body is shaking now, pleading for someone to stay with her. Begging for anyone to care about her. To remember her.

If there was a moment the boy could hear his heart crack, this was it. Ven begins to tear up as well, gently holding the gloved hand that was gripping his arm. Her grip relaxes, and then she let go of his arm.

“I won’t. I promise…” He vows sincerely, and he means it. He really does.

A few more minutes pass, and she seems to calm down significantly after sensing Ven’s presence. The moment felt like forever, but it’s really only been a couple of minutes. Ven cannot help but think about what he’s going to tell her once she wakes up. He makes it a point to _never_ bring up Roxas. Whoever he was, he’s probably going to trigger some really bad memories. He also makes a note to only tell her the basics. One, that she’s at the Land of Departure, two, mention that she’s uninjured and physically healthy (he can’t account for her mental health though), and three, that she’s safe and doesn’t need to worry about any bad people. He hopes she’ll believe the last part.

 

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

 

Ven nearly jumps at the sound of the door knocking.

“Ven? It’s Aqua!” A feminine voice rings from the other side of the door.

The sun is almost completely set when the girl’s eyes finally start to flutter. The sound of the door knocking must have caught her attention. Ven smiles when he sees her starting to wake, “Aqua! Come in, you’re just in time!” He says sheepishly.

The ravenette’s violet-blue eyes roam around the room, her vision blurry from all the stress she's going through.

“Ugh…” the girl groans, feeling sore all over.

“Easy there… You’re safe.” Ven explains right away as he tries to steady her; best not to keep her in the dark about that.

Aqua enters the room and beams when she notices their guest finally start to wake. She walks over next to Ven and gives the girl a gentle smile. The girl’s vision clears after rubbing the gunk off her eyes, and she stares directly at the blonde next to the taller woman.

Her eyes widen with fear, and she tries to crawl away,

“W-wait! Look, I-”

“Why do you look like him?!” she cuts him off in an accusatory tone, anger flashing in her eyes.

Aqua’s expression changes and she looks at Ven as if asking him to clarify what she’s saying. When Ven remains speechless, Aqua turns her attention back at the girl, “Like whom?” Aqua asks gently, trying to calm her down. The girl is taken aback when she’s asked such a question.

Before she can answer, she looks at the boy once more. His hair, while styled the same, is brighter than Roxas’ dirty blonde. Furthermore, his clothes are different. Roxas doesn’t have an armor plate on his shoulder, and this boy looks a little younger too. He’s not Roxas, but the resemblance is almost uncanny. _Who is he?_

The memories of what transpired before she got here start flooding back.

The anger

The betrayal.

The tragedy…

The girl is not sure if she has a heart, but if she does, it’s hurting. Oh, how it hurts. Tears start streaming down her pale face, and she comes undone before them. Soon enough those tears become sobs, and she’s crying openly in front of two complete strangers. It’s not like it matters anyhow, she’s dead, right? Or at least she thought she had died. Doomed to be forgotten forever. The trauma wrecks her in every way, and she’s mentally screaming for Roxas, for Axel, for her best friends. She had hurt them both and it’s all her fault. She deserves to die.

 _“I should be dead! Why am I here? Why do you torment me by looking like him?! You’re not Roxas!”_ The raven-haired girl sobs, continuing to cry, cry and cry…

Ven instinctively moves to hug her, but Aqua beats him to it. The woman is already sitting on top of the bed she was lying on, and she hugs the girl gently as she begins to sob on her chest, hugging her back tightly. Aqua doesn’t care that she’s hugging a random stranger, or that she’s getting her snot and tears on her clothes. To her, this is someone who really needs a shoulder to cry on. She’d do the same for Terra or Ventus, and she has.

Ven pauses and gives Aqua a look confused look. The female apprentice shakes her head at the boy. Not a good idea. After the way she reacted to him, it’s clear that the girl needs time to adjust. Something tells the blunette that this girl will probably be here for a while.  

“Ven. Let me take it from here, okay?” Aqua remarks to the younger teen, who looks like he wants nothing more than to comfort the crying girl in his friend’s arms.

Despite this, Ven relents with a frown and nods. The blonde boy quietly walks to the door of the room, his head low. He gives the girl one final glance before exiting the room and closes the door behind him.

He’s done all he can for now, and he kept his promise to stay by her side. At least until Aqua could come to check on her. Aqua’s always been better at comforting people then he has, so she’ll be able to make that girl feel safe. In his heart of hearts though, Ven still feels ashamed of himself that he couldn’t help her solely for the fact that he reminds her too much of her old friend.

He tries to tell himself that eventually she’ll warm up to him and she’ll have to see him for him, not as the person from her past. He’ll make sure of it. With that in mind, he walks back to his room to retire for the night. While he feels insanely tired after the long day he’s had, Ven seriously doubts he’ll be able to fall asleep after what he witnessed.

Ven places his right hand on his heart, and he vaguely remembers a distant phrase the master said once in passing.

_My her heart be her guiding key…_


	4. Retreatism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The days go by and Xion still has a hard time trusting anyone. However, trust is found in the most unexpected of communications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look guys it's 3:00 AM and I'm tired. ;; I spent a whole week on this chapter because it's literally a monster. I hope you guys enjoy this really long chapter because I certainly had a lot of ups and downs writing it. Be sure to comment and/or leave a kudos if you like what you read. Feedback is important to me, so I wanna hear your thoughts! Okay enough of that, let's get on with the chapter. 
> 
> Some Potential Trigger Warnings: Suicide is a topic that is dealt with here. I'm not sure if you are comfortable with that, but I can promise you it's handled with the utmost care. Nothing is graphic, and no one actually dies, but if this makes you uncomfortable, I completely understand and I have no problems with anyone skipping sections of this chapter to avoid seeing that.

The feeling of hopelessness and despair has never felt this tangible.

Before, she used to have Roxas and Axel, the only two people in her life that cared whether or not she’d one day disappear out of nowhere. But now she has nothing. She can’t help but wonder if they even remember her. Her thoughts turn to the earliest memory she can remember regarding herself and how she came here.

There was darkness, but then a sudden light would shine at the end of a gaping void. She doesn’t remember anything else.

How long has it been? A few days? A week? Time seems like such a foreign construct now. There’s a clock in this room, but its ticks are so distracting that she didn’t even look at where the arms land on during its monotonous ticking sounds.

The ticking sound isn’t so bad though; it keeps her grounded to this current reality. And if the raven-haired girl needed anything, it was something to hang on to. Things that remind her that she’s still here in this reality.

Xion lies on the floor, staring at nothing but the intricate patterns of the ceiling above her. Her eyes are bloodshot red, hints of dry tears litter her pale cheeks. She had been crying silently for a while now, but now all she feels is a constant numbness.

It’s not dark out; not anymore. It was a few hours ago though. Light pours in from the window beside the bed, an orange sunrise perturbing from the horizon line.

Xion hates the color orange.

Must be another day in this unknown and unfamiliar world. The sullen girl can’t remember when was the last time she felt at ease. Maybe it had something to do with an ice cream that tasted sweet and salty. She lets out a bitter laugh. That seems like so long ago, even though it may not have been long at all. Xion’s face scrunches up, tears glossing her eyes again as she felt tightness squeeze around her aching heart, if she even has one. She misses them so much, that it’s almost unbearable. But deep down, she’s kind of glad they all think she’s dead. It’s better that way.

The young keyblade wielder sits up from her lying position and glances at the door. A thoughtful look crosses her gaze. Maybe no one’s up, and she could go outside again.

As much as she would love to stay a hermit, and never leave this bubble of faux safety, she’d probably go mad with boredom. Lost in the empty space of her mind, she looks

to the other side of the room.

A plate of untouched rice and salmon lies by it’s lonesome on top of a desk drawer. It’s probably gone stale and cold by now. It’s unfortunate, really. It smelled so good.

Xion glances down at her abdomen. She’s not entirely sure how replica bodies work, but she’s pretty sure that eventually if you stop eating, you die at some point. That’s how it usually works anyway. She’s already beginning to notice hints of rib bone show against her unusually thin skin. Maybe replica bodies don’t actually need to eat, and her attempts of dying are futile.

But how else is Sora going to get his memories back? Her plan failed. Roxas failed to kill her, so now the only way for Sora to get his memories back is to...

Xion clenches her fist, and lies back down in a fetal position on the bed. 

To be honest, she hopes Riku will come to hunt her down and finish her off himself. If that happens, then at the very least Sora will wake up and she’ll finally be at peace knowing that she had done all she could. 

Guilt eats away at the girl when she starts to think about a certain kind, blue-haired woman. Xion’s never really had any female friends before, but that woman is the closest thing to such a concept. Aqua, if she remembers correctly.

She’s been nothing but understanding to her and insists that everyone in this castle is like that too. Xion sighs, standing up to walk by the window. She stares at the ugly orange of the sunrise. They’re wasting their time. She knows it’s all undeserved. _She should be dead._

Still… It’s nice to know someone other than her friends would care if she disappears one day. The girl lifts a gloved hand to her chest, feeling the subtle beating from within. She’s not sure why, but ever since Xion landed here, she started forgetting things regarding a boy named Sora. She knows Sora is asleep, and that he needs her to wake up, but that’s… it. She can’t remember anything about him other than the fact she used to dream about him, and his name. It’s so strange…

She can’t even remember what he looks like…

She still has his memories inside her, right? Xion can’t help but doubt, even if it’s just a little bit.

Xion shakes her head, her messy raven locks framing her face swaying. That’s impossible. All her memories have been fragmented one way or another. It’s probably because she hasn’t slept much, if at all. Sleep is a luxury that Xion can no longer grasp.

As she sits on her bed, staring at the sunrise, her mind turns to that blonde kid from a few days before. She can’t remember his full name, but Aqua called him Ven. Xion spent hours coming up with possible explanations as to why he looks near identical to her best friend, but she can’t find anything substantial. It may just be that the universe decided it would play a cruel trick on her and introduce another boy in her life that just so happens to have blonde windswept bedhair.

If that’s the case, the universe can go screw itself.

Xion winces at the thought of him and buries her face with her gloved hands. He _seems_ nice, she supposes. Aqua says he saved her from a great fall. Xion scowls, burying her head against her knees. Damn him, he should have let her die! But it doesn’t matter now. He didn’t know better, so it’s wrong of her to hate him for such a thing. Xion has to remind herself not to hate that boy. It’s not his fault, _she’s the problem._

She sighs leaning against the windowsill. He’s definitely tried to talk to her more than once, but Xion would rather be caught dead than talk to him in person. More guilt begins to build up when she realizes how stupid she’s acting. It’s honestly not his fault… She knows she shouldn’t be feeling this way. But she can’t help it. If she so much as stares at him for too long, she’ll think about Roxas and then be reminded of **everything wrong in her worthless life**.

It’s so pathetic.

Deciding to put that thought in the backburner, for now, she makes her decision to stay inside for now and admire the beauty from afar. Perhaps later she’ll sneak out of the room and go to the forest again to collect more natural treasures from the autumn leaves. She’ll take any comfort she can get from the beauty of nature. She’s not sure if she’s allowed to heal, but subconsciously she wants to. She has to hang on to something… If not her own existence, then any distraction will suffice.

 

Maybe feeling numb isn’t such a bad thing.

 

* * *

 

 

 “Again.”

 

Aqua casts another blizzard spell at a training mannequin. The spell freezes a portion of the mannequin’s body, but its arm explodes into a bunch of frozen pieces on the dirt floor. The blue mage casts an array of spells; all ranging from piercing cold blizzards to painful thunder spells. Being the magister of the three students, Aqua’s private lessons mostly consist of advanced spell training, rather then the blade-to-blade combat she instigated with Terra and Ven during the week.

The week prior, Eraqus had emphasized on meditation so Aqua can learn to be more sensitive to the magic that circulates in her body. While Aqua is a far better magician than her fellow students, even she has to meditate every now and again so she doesn’t lose touch with the arcane ability that sleeps inside her. Magic typically goes hand in hand with physical combat, but for Aqua it’s her specialty. Because of this, she doesn’t need to meditate as often as Terra and Ventus do.

The young woman lands squarely on her feet after casting the spells in midair. Eraqus notes that Aqua looks more winded then their last one-on-one, so he walks up to her to make sure that she’s fine. Aqua smiles when she sees him come over, “That was quite intense,” she laughs breathlessly.

“Indeed,” he chuckles back. The Master helps her balance her feet since she feels dizzy. They both turn their attention to the masses of wood that used to look like mannequins and wince.

The training mannequins have certainly seen better days. There are several burn marks on all of them, and some even looked disfigured. “You’re improving splendidly, Aqua. However, do spare the mannequins next time.” Eraqus remarks playfully. Aqua hasn’t done so much damage to the mannequins since she first heard about the Mark of Mastery Exams. Perhaps it’s due to the peculiar events that have made her feel a little more than unsettled…

“Yes Master, I may have gotten a bit carried away…” she says, a tinge of embarrassment stinging in her chest. Aqua makes a mental note to control herself better in future lessons.

“Aqua, you must know by now that the Mark of Mastery is not about defeating your opponent or destroying them. It’s about showing your strength-”

“My strength of heart. Yes, I know,” she confirms sheepishly, putting away the various ethers she used during her lesson. Eraqus gives the young woman a stern look and walks over to help her put the various poultices away.

“I understand it may seem like I repeat myself a lot. But it’s important you remember what your exam entails. I don’t want you or Terra to act irrationally during training, or during the exams,” he lectures the female apprentice in a firm but gentle tone. Aqua gives her teacher a pensive look before nodding in agreement. She’s had so much on her mind lately that it’s reflecting on her training. The usually calm student can’t help but feel critical of herself; she let matters outside of her training dictate how she progresses.

Eraqus, being the sharp man he is, notice her hands shake ever so slightly as she stores away the alchemical items. However, Aqua’s unease became undeniable when she drops an ether on the floor. It shatters upon impact, its contents spilling over and creating a mess.

“Damnit! I’m sorry!” Aqua scrambles to the other side of the room to get some towels to clean up the mess.

Eraqus’ eye twitches, ~~he hates mess~~ , but he begrudgingly helps her out by getting the disinfectants in the nearby cabinets. The older man cannot for the life of him place why she’s acting up. Aqua is never one to feel anxious on any given occasion.

When the two meet back at the area the mess was created, Eraqus breaks the silence.

“Aqua, is something the matter?”

The woman in question freezes, the cleaning towel still her in hand. How is she supposed to respond to that? Aqua wasn’t a huge fan of the fact that the Master refused to acknowledge the huge elephant in the room that’s been on everyone’s mind, yet no one has actually brought it up or said anything. It’s frustrating.

Aqua looks downward and over to her left, “Sorry Master, I just… It’s not the exams that have me worried,” Aqua admits, mind far off in another realm of concern. Ah, he should have guessed. The Master doesn’t even have to ask his student to know what’s really on her mind. They _all_ know what it is. He sighs, and then gives her a soft look, “It’s about her, isn’t it?”

Aqua nods, eyes downcast. She feels nothing but worry for their mysterious guest.

Roughly three days have passed since the girl first arrived at the Land of Departure. Things haven’t quite been the same since then, but at the same time, nothing much has changed at all. Terra, Aqua, and Ventus still went on with their daily training and routines, and Master Eraqus still made time for their private lessons (though he has been away for longer periods of time now).

As for the girl, well… She often kept to herself.

Were it not for the fact Aqua went to the young girl’s room to make sure she’s being properly fed, it would seem like they have no guest at all. Even then, she’s refused to eat every time she has offered food. If starving herself wasn’t bad enough, she’s completely unresponsive to anyone except Aqua. No doubt the only female in this castle has made great strides to becoming the girl’s acquaintance of a sort, but even she has refused to see the Master himself.

It was probably because she hasn’t left the guest room much since she came here. Instead, she opted to wander around the castle by herself. She never interacts with any of the residents. Yesterday, Ven had found her by the outskirts of the forest, picking up acorns from beneath the autumn leaves. He nearly spooked her half to death when he tried to greet her in person. He told them that she was so spooked that she immediately ran back inside the castle like a deer caught in headlights. Ven would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt his feelings. But he lied, and said it didn’t.

Eraqus gives a long sigh at the memory. Poor Ven… He really does care far too much about what the girl thinks of him. Then again, he’s a very impressionable young boy. He doesn’t feel comfortable with people disliking him outright, and it shows. That’s not all though.

The girl has exhibited various kinds of strange behavior recently. The first night during his nightly walks, Eraqus found her outside by the cliff, staring at nothing in particular; not even the stars. Her eyes were blank, as if she couldn’t place her own thoughts and feelings. Eraqus wanted to go to her and see how she’d react, but since it was already so late he decided he should get some rest and leave the girl alone to her thoughts. The next morning, he found the bags under her eyes had worsened.

It shouldn’t have been so surprising. After all, judging by the way she looked, it seems like she’s been through a lot. Aqua was the closest to formulating a real connection with the isolated guest.

Despite being able to comfort the young girl though, unfortunately, _not even Aqua could get her name_.

It really is a shame. Since they don’t know what to call her, they all can’t even begin to figure out who she is. Eraqus tried to assure Aqua that she tried her best and that the girl will tell them all when she’s ready, but she still feels like she failed in a way.

 

The only time she even gave hints as to what she was like was when Aqua comforted her on the first day.

 

The girl was her most open at that very moment.

 

* * *

  _She had cried for hours. The mage was careful not to move from her spot, knowing that the young girl didn’t want anyone to leave her side. Aqua had to wonder if she was embarrassed at all about her behavior. Somehow, she didn’t doubt that. The raven-haired girl retreated back to the farthest corner of her bed, avoiding eye contact and not saying anything. Her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, and her nose resembled a cherry. Aqua’s heart broke at the sight; it should be illegal for a girl to cry this much._

_“Do you want to talk about it?” Aqua asked softly, her tone kind and understanding. The girl must have caught her tone shift, because she actually did answer back,_

_“I’m… I’m not sure how…” She replies, her voice almost a whisper. Aqua tried to move over to touch her shoulder, but the girl slapped her hand away before she does. Aqua was shocked at how sudden she moved to slap her hand away, but the message is clear. Don’t touch her out of her terms. Got it._

_For a while, Aqua sat there wondering if the girl was going to say anything else. The mysterious girl reminded Aqua of herself when she first came to the land of departure. To be honest, the blunette didn’t remember much of what her life was before she came to this castle to hone her skills, (Terra had told her it was probably for the best, lest they have unpleasant memories) but it seemed like this girl really did remember what went on in her life before she landed here. She looked resigned and fearful, as if she was holding something painful in her heart. Aqua boldly scoots a little closer, to which the girl doesn’t react. Given the okay, Aqua tries to make her presence known by reassuring the girl._

_“You can talk to me, you know… I won’t… I won’t judge you,” Aqua offered, a hesitant smile forming on her features. The girl silently looked at the blue-haired woman, and sighs, indicating she didn’t want to speak to her or anyone for that matter. Aqua felt exasperation creep into her, and frowns. There really was no way she was going to get into this girl’s thoughts, huh? Defeated, but still determined, Aqua rose from her sitting position on the bed and silently walked towards the door. She didn’t leave. Not yet. She just wanted to see if that would prompt any reactions._

_“What’s your name?” A groggy high pitched voice asks._

_The apprentice is shocked to hear her actually speak to her for the first time in hours, but she answers anyways, “I’m Aqua,”_

_“Where am I, exactly?”_

_Aqua turned her head completely now, back towards the room. She noticed that the girl was looking directly at her now. Aqua took in her features, noticing her red eyes and cherry nose. She looked willing to talk now, if not for questions about her current predicament._

_“You’re in the Land of Departure. It’s the castle where… Well… We train,” Aqua explains without revealing too much. She’s careful not to tell her that they’re keyblade wielders. That’s information only the Master himself had a right to disclose. Besides, keeping the world order is still something that must be done. The girl didn’t press for more information about the purpose of this place, and only resumed her questions,_

_“How did I get here? Am I alone..?” She trails off quietly, not wanting to know if the latter was true or not. For her, being alone meant she came by herself; therefore she had neither of her two best friends to turn to. The thought was scary enough as it was._

_Aqua heart aches when she noticed the crack in her voice. She desperately wants to know what this girl went through to get to where she is now, but at the same time, she wanted to respect her boundaries. Yet, if she doesn’t ask, then they won’t know how to help her get home. This really is an unfortunate situation._

_Aqua walks back to the side of the bed and gives the young girl a sincere look, “You did come alone, but you are not alone. There are four of us, including myself. First, there’s Terra, the big strong doofus who looks like he hasn’t skipped a workout in forever,” Aqua laughs, finding it humorous to tease her favorite muscle head. The girl chuckles as well, finding Aqua’s humor to be a bit contagious._

_Aqua smiles. She got her hooked. Aqua continues to talk about Terra for a while, explaining how he’s probably the nicest, most considerate person anyone can meet, despite his meat headed tendencies and his habit of being a bit gullible._

_“He’s a bit stoic, but once you give him the chance, he can a great friend to have in your corner,” Aqua finishes, smiling when she notices she got the raven-haired girl engaged in her conversation. She sat intently, probably eager to focus her mind on anything else other than herself. Aqua respected that. Clearly, this girl’s been through a lot. Plus she had a right to know about everyone here if she’s going to be staying for an undetermined amount of time._

_“Then there’s Master Eraqus. He may come off as more stoic and harsh then Terra, but underneath that steel-like gaze is a man with a heart of gold. I couldn’t ask for a better mentor. He taught Terra and I everything we know. He saved us, in a way,” Aqua paused, allowing for the girl to speak the raging thoughts and questions that floated in her mind._

_“Save you? From what..?” She questions, curiosity eating away at her. She wants to know more about the mysterious people who took her in. Despite her trauma, she felt like she owed them, in a way. If she were still with the organization… They would have decimated her like those garbage compacters you find in an isolated disposal island. For some reason or another, after spending time with this kind lady she felt there was little doubt their intentions were nothing but pure._

_Aqua rubs the back of her blue hair with her right hand and thinks for a moment. She supposed it didn’t hurt to talk about her personal experience. She couldn’t talk about Terra’s story since that’s something only he could tell, but Aqua didn’t find anything wrong with talking about her own life-changing experience._

_“Well, I can’t tell you what happened with Terra, but I don’t mind sharing a little of what I went through,” Aqua sat against the bed, and the girl followed suit. Aqua put a finger against her chin, wondering how she could explain something so personal without revealing too much._

_“My world fell into darkness… I don’t remember anything about my old life before then, but I do remember I felt scared and alone. Much like you now,” Aqua turned to the girl and noticed that she shied away at that comparison. Maybe it wasn’t quite the same thing, but Aqua had to try to find some kind of workaround back to the girl’s life._

_When Aqua got no retort, she continued, “Before I knew it, I was rescued by my Master. He took me in and raised me as if I were his own daughter. I remember I was so scared the first few days, but I was eventually able to adjust. I hope you will too someday,” Aqua addressed her hope, giving the girl a patient smile._

_She stayed quiet, not knowing how to respond to that. She knew in her heart that it wouldn’t be that simple. Not after everything that happened. But it definitely was a real start. Refusing to give up anything personal, the girl decided to change the subject into something that’s been eating away at her this whole time._

_“What about the blonde boy? He looks just like someone I know,” she presses, her expression turning glum at the memory._

_“Oh, Ven? You’d like him! He’s the youngest out of all of us, and probably the sweetest boy you’ll ever meet. Isn’t he the one who saved you from that fall?”_

_“The fall..? My mind is still hazy…” she pressed her hand to her head, trying to remember what happened. She couldn’t._

_Aqua notices the girl’s struggle to remember and smiles sadly, “the one you called ‘Roxas?” she reminds. The girl’s eyes widen at the mention of his name, and immediately her heart closed to Aqua, an agonized look replacing her calm demeanor,_

_“Oh… Right. I’m sorry, it’s…” she pauses, holding back the onslaught of tears that will inevitably fall again like raindrops. Memories flow back like a river of tears, clashing and raging against her head like an unbridled ocean in the middle of a sea of doubt and confusion._

_‘Xion! Who else will I have ice cream with?!’_

_‘Whatever you do, I’ll always be there to bring you back!’_

_‘You were a mistake that was never meant to be **made.’**_

_Suddenly it’s too cold and too stuffy in this room. She can’t breathe, it’s too much to handle, it’stoomuchit’stomuchit’stoomuch-_

_The girl held her head, silent tears of agony stream down her pale face again and she feels paralyzed and frozen. She just stood there as Aqua noticed her shift in mood. Unbeknownst to Aqua, the girl went through an internal conflict as deadly as any war._

_Why did she have to mention **his** name? Why did she take the leap of faith that she’d reveal anything about her past when she’s **not ready-**_

_“I’m sorry!” Aqua apologized, a wave of guilt rushing at her for bringing the girl’s friend up again. The mage mentally facepalmed when she realized she royally screwed up. Just when she was finally starting to make progress too… Aqua reaches to comfort the girl again, but is stopped when the ravenette turns her back, staring directly at the wall._

_“I want to be alone.” She requests firmly, not allowing the woman to be near her anymore._

_Regret creeps into the apprentice's heart when she realized the crucial mistake she made. Aqua notices the girl’s body shake involuntarily, a deep suffering piercing her chest._

_The keyblader realized at that moment that she wasn’t going to get anywhere now that she had made that statement. Still... Just one more question before it’s too late._

_“Can I at least get your name?” She all but begged, once more trying to make that connection. Just a name, that’s all she needs._

_No response. It was like that for five minutes before she finally gave up, and quietly, and regrettably left the room in stark defeat._

_Whatever progress Aqua had made was immediately snuffed out when the girl’s eyes went back to their dazed and glossy look. The keyblade apprentice knew that gaze. It’s the look Ven had when he first came here. That zombie-like state to indicate you’re here physically, but in reality, your heart is disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity._

_I_ _t’s a very terrifying state of mind, and that girl was trapped in it._

* * *

 

The mage comes back to reality and out of her thoughts when Eraqus waves a hand in front of her face, noticing that she spaced out.

Aqua still beats herself up over the fact that things could have gone differently if she knew what she knows now.

“I made a mistake. I was doing so well, but when I brought up her friend… She just froze. It was like she was a prey animal who knew she was about to be eaten by a large, imposing predator. I… It’s my fault she hasn’t opened up to anyone,” Aqua self deprecates.

What more could she have possibly done at that moment? She couldn’t have forced the girl to give her name; otherwise, it would have worsened the situation. But she can’t help but feel like she had caused a major setback in their relationship.

“As I said before, Aqua, you did your best. She’ll come around with time.” Eraqus insists gently.

“But you saw what she went through. We all did. The portal that opened; it felt so unnatural. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to fall from a place like that without knowing why. What if she’s dealing with a trauma we don’t know about?”

Eraqus frowns, not sure how to answer to her plight. If he’s being completely honest, he doesn’t have the slightest clue as to what that portal was a few days before. Eraqus recently came into contact with his former fellow student and colleague, Master Yen Sid, to see what theories he had to offer. Yen Sid had explained that it would take around forty-eight hours in order to read the stars and see what they have to reveal about this unprecedented event. Eraqus wasn’t too fond of the wait time, but he much rather wait the hours then guess for himself as to what happened. Yen Sid is far more attuned to the fabric of the universe then he will ever be.

“I cannot give you a straight answer. But I can offer you comfort that my colleague and I are already looking into the matter. We have to wait a few hours before I can get a proper response, but I’ve no doubt that once he’s done with his analysis that we would have an idea as to how to help the girl.” Eraqus explains with a stoic look, leaving nothing to chance. He’s much more adamant about keeping his emotions in check then Aqua is, yet he doesn’t blame her for feeling that way either.

If this situation proved anything, it’s that Aqua’s heart is bigger then most’s, which can be a great virtue for a future Keyblade Master.

Aqua smiles optimistically when her Master tells her that bit of information. Of course, he’s already on top of it. Knowing that sent a rush of relief to her system. If Ven can come out of his zombie-like state after staying with them for a period of a couple of months, there’s no reason that this girl can’t come around either. She just needs to be a little more patient.

Things will be alright for her after all.

Since the one-on-one lessons have been over, Aqua and Eraqus decide to get breakfast going since it’s still the early hours of the day. This is usually how the routine goes. Being a Saturday, Ventus is most likely still sleeping. But it’s a bit of a pleasant surprise when the Master and Aqua find Ven wide-awake at the kitchen table, sitting by himself reading a hardcover book. He seems to be engrossed in the unknown title since he didn’t notice the teacher-student duo walk in. Aqua leans over the young blonde to see if she can get his attention.

It’s when he sees her silhouette shadow his reading light when Ven jumps, a startled gaze filling his expression.

“Ah! Gimme a break Aqua, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” Ven pouts cutely, nibbling on his bottom lip. She must have interrupted a really good part in the book if he’s reacting this annoyed.

She and the Master chuckle at the boy’s antics, and the former rubs his blonde hair affectionately, “Aww Ven, whats a sleepy head like you doing awake on a Saturday?” She chuckles. He gives her a sheepish smile before placing his green bookmark on the page he hadn’t finished reading,

“Couldn’t sleep well, I guess. Thought reading would help but, I just stayed up mostly,” He confesses.

Eraqus and Aqua frown at that notion, especially when they see the barely visible bags under his eyes.

“Oh Ventus, you should have come to me or Aqua. We would have made you a tea to help you rest.” Eraqus scolds lightly, giving Ven a concerned look. He looks away at the tile floors again, his eyes shadowed by the lighting, “I know… I just didn’t see the point. Didn’t want to bother anyone with my problems.”

Aqua steps forward at that, and pats his shoulder softly, “You’re never a bother to any of us. We all care about you too, Ven! How long have you been feeling this way?” She asks.

It’s probably obvious at this point as to how long he’s been feeling so glum, so he doesn’t respond. He can’t stop thinking about _her_. The girl with midnight colored hair and the fearful look in her eyes. Just the thought of her made him sad. Every time he tried to approach that girl, she’d give him the cold shoulder or run away _and it bothers him so much-_

Aqua notices the blonde’s eyes water with unshed tears and realizes what exactly is on this boy’s mind.

“I have a feeling I know why you’re so upset,” Aqua sighs, giving the boy a soft hug as a means to comfort him. Ven accepts the motherly hug graciously, burying his face on the crevice of her neck to hold back his stubborn tears. He doesn’t want to cry, not when he’s been so strong this whole time. Admittedly, all of his emotions have been bottling up to a point, and it was only a matter of time he’d come undone. Much like Terra did a few days ago.

“Has she eaten yet..?” He asks, not actually wanting to know.

“No, she hasn’t. Yesterday she refused dinner again… But we’ll keep trying. She has to come around, right Master?” Aqua asks the old teacher. He doesn’t respond to her question, and instead, the brooding Master walks up to his two students and pulls up a chair, sitting across from Ven on the dining table.

“Ventus, we’ve been meaning to speak to you about her,” Eraqus starts.

Ven stays silent. Deep down, he already knows what Eraqus is going to say. He saw it coming a million miles away. But no amount of swaying and scolding is going to get him to stop worrying about her. He doesn’t need to know her to care. In his heart, he knows she’s suffering. And it kills him to know he can’t do anything about it.

“I wholeheartedly understand what it’s like to want to help someone who’s suffering. In my youth, I too would rather forsake my own master then stand still and watch a person in need suffer greatly,” Eraqus stares at the table melancholically, a distant memory of a young boy with far too much hope and love in his heart forming in his mind.

Aqua saddens when she sees the Master’s expression change; he has changed so much…

Ventus sits still, listening intently. Where is the Master going with this?

After a moment’s pause he continues onward, “But there are some battles that one must fight alone. We do what we can. We make sure the person is as comfortable as possible, and we stay by their side when they want our help. However, it’s becoming clearer to us that our guest is facing some deep-rooted trauma that she hasn’t allowed us to fully understand. If she won’t actively seek our help, we won’t be able to help her recover as quickly,” Eraqus ends his statement on a solemn note.

He knows Ventus won’t want to hear this, being so young he probably doesn’t fully understand.

Yet, Ven was not expecting to hear something like that from his Master. The boy’s eyes gloss over a little again, conflict raging in his mind. Okay so maybe Master Eraqus has a point… It’s no secret that force-feeding someone the help they don’t want is counterproductive at best, but Ven can’t help but feel like there has to be a way to unobtrusively communicate with her so she won’t have to face actual conversation.

“If we can’t talk with her, then how are we supposed to help her recover? What if while we wait for her to speak up, it’s already too late?” Ven’s voice cracks, expressing his innermost fears, while the tears in his eyes begin to shed again.

The old man’s gaze narrows in deep thought, the words of his response formulating in his head. He’s been so preoccupied with communicating with Master Yen Sid, that he hadn’t really given the idea much thought. When Ventus first came to The Land of Departure, there was never a need to force communication to him. He was like a zombie, unresponsive and dead. It took a lot of time and patience to get Ventus to where he is now, through patient communication while his will to fight grew day by day.

This girl’s situation, though, is completely different. She’s actively avoiding everyone and anyone that could possibly help her, so having a face to face rational conversation with her is near impossible. Aqua has done so much already, and already managed to communicate with her (even if just barely) but even she’s not responding much to her anymore either.

“Well, that’s, unfortunately, something we have to practice patience with. It’s only been three days, Ven. I’m sure with a little more time, she’ll have to come out of her shell, if only a little,” Eraqus offers a soft smile before getting up from his chair and heading to the stove top. Ventus groans, frustration and impatience evident in his expression. Aqua, who’s been listening on and off this whole time, rubs his back soothingly.

“The Master is right Ven, just give it time. She’ll come around,”

 _Like you did,_ she wants to say but she knows to keep her mouth shut about that aspect of his life. No need to reopen closed wounds.

After their conversation and much-needed talk end, Aqua, Eraqus, and Ven help out with making breakfast. Usually, breakfast is the same high protein stuff they eat during the week, but on the weekends Aqua likes to get creative. She just finished making blueberry muffins batter for her, the Master, and Ventus, and then a separate batch for just Terra. The separate batch is more savory than sweet, because as Terra puts it, ‘real men hate sugar.’

Aqua stifles a laugh as she remembers when she first heard Terra say that statement when they were ten. He never really did outgrow that silly mindset. Still, he does find sugar nauseatingly sweet to the point it gives him stomach problems.

Speak of the devil, Terra walks in the kitchen with nothing but his sports short and a very sweaty towel draped over his shoulder. He’s shirtless, his twelve pack showing with sweat droplets present on his skin. When Aqua realizes she’s staring, she quickly looks away, a blush burning on her face.

“Mornin’ everyone!” The musclehead greets cheerfully, his sweaty hair dripping ever so slightly to his forehead. Everyone in the kitchen blurts out a 'good morning', happy to see their favorite meathead join them.

“Terra! You done working out?” Ven asks, happy to see his best friend.

“Yeah, finished about five minutes ago. Is breakfast ready yet?”

“Just about. We’re making blueberry muffins. Don’t worry I made your special savory muffins without sugar,” Aqua informs, taking off her oven mitts and placing them back against the oven handle.

“Cool. Need any help?”

Aqua turns from the oven to look directly at him with a raised eyebrow,

“Not with your sweaty behind! Go shower you smell like post-workout testosterone,” Aqua teases lightly, whacking Terra with a whisk in a playful manner. He chuckles before muttering an ‘alright’ and exits the kitchen to go to the bathroom.

“Even on the weekends, he trains as if he’ll lose his muscle mass if he doesn’t,” Eraqus rolls his eyes, turning on the faucet to wash the dishes.

“Well, he wouldn’t be Terra if he skipped a good weight lifting or cardio session,” Ven explains, leaning against the kitchen chair.

Aqua smiles when Ven brings that up. It’s nice to see Terra on a Saturday. Usually, he’s too busy to be bothered, but in the past, the three students and occasionally the Master would all play a command board game together. Game nights usually happen in the weekend, but it’s been a while since any of them actually made time for those games anymore.

It’s unfortunate. The command board never gets old. At least to them.

Whilst continuing on with the morning, eventually the muffins finish baking. Aqua’s made quite a batch, giving one to Eraqus and one to Ven. Eraqus has made scrambled eggs to go with the muffins, a fitting combination. All three of them eat breakfast on the kitchen table, talking about what they plan to do for the day. Eraqus begins talking about his days as a young student when he used to travel to worlds all the time, while Aqua and Ven listen with wonder in their eyes.

The thought of traveling worlds always appealed to the three students, so hearing Eraqus speak about his youth is always so interesting. They’re so engaged with the story that they don’t notice Terra walk in, fully clothed in casual wear and walking his way to his savory muffins.

He grabs the entire tray of savory muffins and walks back to his room, but not without muttering a quick thank you that catches the three’s attention. His sudden leave makes Aqua and Eraqus shake their heads. Terra will probably justify taking the whole tray by saying he needs the carbs for energy, but deep down they know he’s obsessed with those muffins.

When breakfast is over, Eraqus makes everyone help him clean up, much to Aqua and Ven’s dismay, “Master, you know your standards for ‘clean,’ are way above mine, right?” Ven complains, knowing he’s probably going to make them stay in the kitchen for another two hours. Aqua can’t help but agree; Eraqus is a clean freak.

“Well children you know what they say, ‘cleanliness is next to godliness,’”

“Master I’m 18,” Aqua points out.

“Still a child in my eyes,” He teases, a rare youthfulness gracing his eyes.

The two students pout, “Well can’t we at least get Terra to help?” Aqua complains.

The older man thinks about it for a second.

Then stops thinking on it.

“Nah, he’s just finished training!~”

“OH JUST ADMIT TERRA’S YOUR FAVORITE!” Aqua and Ven accuse in unison.

“Nonsense! Terra’s just done enough for today is all. Besides, he trained for far longer and since three in the morning. I’ll let him take the reins at a later time,” Eraqus reasons calmly, but his smile is still present.

The two apprentices relent, knowing that they weren’t going to be able to convince the man to reconsider.

The three of them spend a whopping 2 hours cleaning the kitchen completely from top to bottom. Aqua boasts a mask and rubber gloves while Ven has a white bandana framing his face and a dustpan. Eraqus, however, had full armor and set; rubber gloves, mask, bandana, and wielding two spray bottles with cleaning agents. By now, they’re all used to it, but to anyone else who only knows Eraqus as the stoic Keyblade Master, he looks downright ridiculous. Not like he cares though, that kitchen is going to be clean even if it kills him.

He attacks the kitchen island with a cleaning agent, making sure to spray the places Aqua spilled some muffin batter. Then makes his way over to the storage closet to get some more materials.

He grabs his trusty mop and bucket and hands them over to Ven, “Ven, you mop. Aqua, you make sure to clean the pipes with this nylon brush,”

“Excuse me?!” Aqua exclaims as she’s given the thin brush.

“I’ll clean the oven and the microwave,” the clean freak of a Master announces, getting a special cleaning product specifically meant to handle ovens and microwaves. It’s not long before the entire kitchen reeks of a strong lemony smell that can make anyone pass out.

Ventus and Aqua just stand still like petrified cracked statues before scrambling to do what their obsessively compulsive mentor says before he blows up on them. Ven does as he’s told and mops the floor until his arm muscles ache, while Aqua cleans the sink pipes until the entirety of the nylon brush is covered in old smelly food. The young woman leans the brush over to sniff it, then gags at the smell. Now she knows why he asked her to clean the pipes. The two hours go by faster now that the two unwilling maids have actual assigned tasks.

Eventually after the kitchen is doused in cleaning agent and mopped to oblivion, the trio finish, and it’s finally time to enjoy their well earned day off. Eraqus already ran off to go clean up another aspect of the castle he failed to mention, so it was just Aqua and Ven in the kitchen now. Ven stretches his limbs, feeling a bit sore after all the bending and leaning he had to do in order to reach the _back of the freaking refrigerator_. He even got stuck, so Aqua had to pull him out!

And people say cleaning is not a workout.

Ven sighs, his eyes wandering to the clock that hangs beside the kitchen cabinets.

10:47 AM. It’s still early, so maybe the girl is sleeping right now. The blonde’s eyes wander to the leftover muffins. After a moment of just standing there and admiring the delectable pastries, he goes over to the tray to take one.

“Ven, you’re still hungry?” Aqua questions while she gets ready to go take a shower. All this time and she’s still sweaty from the early morning one on one lesson.

“Nah, it’s not for me. It’s for the girl. No one can resist your blueberry muffins,” He smiles sadly, taking the biggest one with utmost care.

Aqua saddens again, remembering that it’s completely possible she still won’t want to speak to him, let alone eat her blueberry muffin. “Ven, I’m not against you giving it to her, but I’m not sure if she’ll be happy to see you…” She answers honestly. She doesn’t want to set up the blonde for another disappointment.

Ven frowns, realizing she’s probably right. He had been so caught up in worrying about her health that he forgot the glaring problem that she’s still suffering from retreatism. In his heart though, he feels like he can get through to her somehow. He just needs a way to communicate with her without actually speaking to her. If his appearance and voice alone scare her off, then he’ll have to find another way of talking to her…

“If I could just talk to her without actually speaking to her… Does that make sense?” Ven implores, rubbing his spikey locks. Aqua ponders Ven’s idea for a moment, tapping her foot on the tile floor.

 _A way to talk to someone without actually talking to someone…_ Aqua thinks in her mind. Suddenly, a metaphorical light bulb pops above her head when she realizes there is a way to communicate with someone without speaking or seeing them.

“Send her a note!” Aqua suggests brightly, pointing upwards instinctively.

“A note huh… Would she even read it?” Ven doubts, his mouth forming a thin line.

“Why wouldn’t she? You’re not actually talking to her face to face, and if you deliver it to her room somehow, you can say what you want to say to her,” Aqua reasons, all too proud of her idea. She may have to try it herself.

“It can’t hurt to try, I guess. I just- I don’t want to say the wrong thing,” He looks over to the direction of her guest room.

“Well, if you give it enough thought, there won’t be any room to write anything that can set her off. Remember, you don’t know her. Just be honest, and say what you feel,” she advises, rubbing his blonde hair once more before heading off.

“I have to go wash up, but remember Ven. It has to come from _you_. Don’t write something that you didn’t think of. Worst-case scenario, she doesn’t respond.” With that, Aqua disappears into the distance, leaving Ven alone again in the kitchen.

The boy lets out a frustrated yell as he sits on the dining table again. A letter? How’s writing a letter to a shut-in going to help him? Ven’s not exactly a poet by any means. What could he possibly write to her? He sighs in frustration, his cute pout reappearing on his youthful face. It’s worth a shot, he supposes. He has all afternoon to think about what he can write to her about. Like Aqua said, the worst she can do is not respond, so it’s not like he has anything to lose.

 

With a newfound resolve and determination filling his heart, he runs towards his bedroom. He’s going to need a pen and paper.

* * *

An arm stretches forwards abruptly. Still nothing.

“UGH!” A frustrated groan rings from the lifeless room as Xion collapses face first against the bed. Seventy-eight times. She’s on number seventy-eight. That’s how many times she’s tried to summon her goddamn keyblade. And every single time, _nothing_. Sure in the past her keyblade’s always been kind of bipolar. Roxas even had to lend him hers for a while so she didn’t get blown to bits by Saix for Light’s sake! But of all the times she could really use a keyblade, this had to be it, yet it’s gone…

She doesn’t know how long she’s been holed up in this room, but it’s certainly been more than a mere day. She should have gotten her keyblade back by now, especially since she was still whole and with what she assumes is a heart.

”Damnit..! What good am I if I can’t even summon my key blade?!” Xion rasps tearfully, frustration and anger creeping in her soul. 

Xion lifts herself up from the mattress.

She needs to leave this room, its seriously causing her to lose her mind. Maybe she’ll go outside and watch the sunset again. She thinks on it for a moment. It might also be too early.

The girl’s head turns to the clock to double check.

6:45 PM?! It’s that late in the afternoon already?

Perhaps five hours of doing nothing but trying to summon a keyblade while aimlessly staring at the things she collected from outside will cause time to fly by.

The former nobody sighs, smoothing out her short matted hair from the constant action of lying down and waiting for her body to shut down. It’s for the best, she keeps telling herself. These people won’t miss her, not even the blue haired one. It’s only a matter of time before they get tired of her and throw her to the curb like everyone else in her life. She honestly wouldn’t blame them for it one bit.

Besides, it’s not like they have anything to gain from taking care of her. She’s just another waste of space, a stray dog that someone took in because they looked cute and helpless. If she didn’t feel so numb at the moment, Xion would be crying again. But right now she has no tears left to cry.

Xion glances towards the window again, staring at the same ugly orange painting the otherwise beautiful sky. Carefully, she takes off her long black boots and sets them against the bedrest. With methodical care, she makes sure to keep them out of the way. Without thinking too much, she stands on top of the mattress bed and opens the window.

The girl stares down from the window, standing at the edge of the windowsill. She averts her gaze from the ground to look at the hints of yellow-orange sun peek from the sky. She wonders if a fall from this height will be enough to kill her. Blue-violet eyes dull in the brightness, very little will to live still present in those beautiful eyes. Eyes like her’s have seen far too many wrongs in her life, and her life itself is just another thing that’s wrong in nature.

 

 How fitting it would be, to go out in the midst of a sunset.

 

_Knock knock knock!_

A soft, barely audible knocking sound pitter-patters from the other side of the guest room door. The broken girl is frozen in her place, her face as white as a sheet whilst she considers her options. If it’s Aqua, then no doubt she’ll want to stop her. Xion can’t imagine anyone else caring whether or not she’d disappear one day. However, she’s proven wrong when instead of receiving a vocal response, the sound of paper rustling and touching against a tiled floor is heard.

Curiosity peaked; Xion relents and turns her direction to the sound.

On the floor is a neatly folded piece of paper. It’s white like most paper is, but it sits innocently in front of the door. Someone must have slid it in.

The girl’s arm shakes as she looks once more at the ground below her. She could just jump. It’s probably not important, just a piece of useless paper. Her choice is already made, nothing can distract her from doing the right thing. This is the right thing to do.

 

It’s not important.

 

**It’s not important.**

 

Xion puts her foot out of the window…

 

 

 

 

 “Before you decide anything…”

 

She pauses, her eyes narrowed in dull concentration.

 

“Just read it.

 

I don’t expect you to reply,

 

or even humor me with your pity,

 

I just want you to know that I care. We all do. _And I won’t give up on you_ ,”

 

It’s the same light-toned voice that sounds like her old friend. Not quite like Roxas, but it’s still too close. Far, far too close. The tightness in her heart came back in full force, nearly suffocating it. She clutches her gloved hand against her erratic beats, and sweat starts to drip. If retreatism won’t get her killed, then who better to rid of the burden, then herself?

She needs to get out of this room. It’s too stuffy and cramp and _she needs to get out-_

Without giving it any more second thoughts, Xion jumps. Wind slashes against her face as she’s falls from the room.

She doesn’t care if her useless body collides with the concrete floor, or if a puddle of red pools below her. She just wants to be gone. A million thoughts race to her head as she sees her short life come up in flashes in her mind. It’s a telltale sign that she’ll die so she doesn’t pay any mind to it. Time seems to slow as she’s falling endlessly.

 

She closes her eyes.

 

 _I_ _t’s for the best_ , she lies to herself.

 

However, the girl’s terrible action is put to a sudden and almost violent stop when a pair of strong muscles grasp her torso and carry her downward, and suddenly she realizes she made a terrible mistake. Before she even has a chance to explain herself, he’s already staring at her with a serious and slightly angry gaze, 

 

“I won’t ask... and I won’t criticize... But if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” He said in a hollow and monotonous tone, his emotion hidden from her presence. Despite that, Xion can sense that deep down, she had caused him terrible distress. Especially since his grip is getting tighter. 

 

Xion doesn’t even argue back, instead she glares at him. What right does he have to feel that way? He doesn’t know a thing about her. No one in this world does. 

The young man flinches when he notices her glare, but stays put, “You done giving me the death stare?” He asks nonchalantly as he waits patiently for her to say something.

“Please, just go away!” Xion seethes, feeling like a threatened prey animal. Her thrashing caused him to set her down on her two feet, yet he’s being remarkably patient with her so far. He probably thinks that she is mentally unstable now, and he’ll probably tell his mentor and cause her to be locked in that room with the letter. With him there. She rather die than go back to that maddening room.

“You okay?” he asks, genuinely concerned. 

“No.”

“Well, at least you’re being honest,” he chuckles sadly, rubbing his spiky hair. 

Xion pouts, giving him one more glare before stomping off in a fit of pent up rage. She’s fully aware that her anger and frustration are irrational and silly, especially for redirecting it to the people helping her, but when have people ever treated her fairly?

After walking aimlessly for an undetermined amount of time, Xion finds herself by the cliffside again. The sun is still setting, but now the sky is full blown orange rather than the hints of blue that still lingered. Xion still hates orange.

She sits cross-legged by the ledge, not wanting to talk or speak to anyone.

Well too bad for her, because the same man that helped her get out of the tree takes a seat next to her,

“You know you’re really mean,” he chuckles, a gentle smile on his face.

Xion’s face becomes guilt-ridden again, and she stares at the grass to her side. She has been meaner as of late, hasn’t she…Questions upon questions fill her mind again about this newcomer that decided to grace her with his presence. Who is he? What does he want? ~~Why is he being so  n i c e. . ?~~

“I’m Terra, by the way. Aqua’s told me a lot about you,” he tries to engage in a casual conversation, giving Xion the benefit of the doubt of being a hermit for the past three days.

Xion perks up when he reveals his name. That’s right. Aqua told her about him when they talked for the first time. Xion turns her head to Terra, and realizes he matches her description of him too.

“I like her. She’s sweet. I honestly never met anyone like her before,” Xion admits, not sure if she could say that with full confidence just yet. As much as she would love to believe that Aqua is nothing but a sweetheart, after trusting Axel to the same extent, she’s not sure if she can allow her heart to make another true connection to anyone else who’s parental in nature.

“She’s amazing, that’s for sure. I doubt I’ll meet anyone quite like her for the rest of my life,” Terra sings praises, the smile on his face widening as he thinks about the blue haired wonder.

Xion nods in agreement, opting to stay silent as she continues to watch the sunset with the Terra.

He didn’t speak much after that quick exchange, and the girl is honestly grateful he didn’t bother to ask her any personal questions. It’s because Terra knows the value of privacy in one’s life, therefore he never felt the need to poke and prod into her life in order to peel away at something he had no right to. Xion will tell him when he’s ready. When she’s ready to tell everyone what happened to her. He was patient with Ven, so he’ll do the same for this girl too.

“Why did you do it, if you don’t mind me asking?” Terra asks boldly, which immediately catches Xion’s attention.

”I mind!” Xion flushes, shame creeping up on her as she feels the consequences of her actions already honing to kick her in the shin. He was right there, it honestly doesn’t shock her too much that he actually did see her jump. Still, she didn’t want anyone to see her like that…

“I… I’m sorry you had to see that,” She backpedals, apologizing while she brushes a strand of her raven locks away from her eyes.

“It’s not okay, but I forgive you. We may not know what you’re going through, but jumping off a building like that is never the answer,” he says sadly, his eyes watering a bit when he thinks of what could have happened if that tree wasn’t there to save her. For sure, Terra would have stepped in and try to catch her, but his reaction time was so slow he can’t honestly be completely certain.

Xion doesn’t know how to respond to that, so she continues staring off into the sunset. Terra takes this opportunity to say what’s been on his mind this entire time.

“You know, out of all four of us, Ven is probably the one who’s the most worried about you,” Terra says offhandedly as if he’s talking about the weather. However, the mere mention of the boy makes Xion want to cry. Her face contorts to a mixture of guilt and agony as she placed her gloved hands against her face.

“I messed up! B-Before I jumped… He was by the door, giving me some note from under my door. And like the coward I am, I got so scared and the voices in my head kept screaming at me to jump, and now he’s probably going to hate me for it-”

“Woah, woah! Easy there. Just breathe.” Terra places his hand on her back and tells her to control her breathing. Xion’s violet-blue eyes begin to water again, but she listens and takes several deep breaths.

in...

out...

in...

out...

After several more moments of just taking deep breaths, Xion calms down and goes back to staring at the setting sun. It’s almost completely gone by now, but Terra doesn’t leave her side during the whole light show. He probably stayed due to obligation, but it’s more likely because he’s afraid she might do something stupid again.

“Ven might not know you, but I can tell he feels very strongly about wanting to be your friend. He’s like a brother to me, so I can attest to that. I know you avoid him because he looks like someone you who used to be your friend, but don’t you think you’re being a little unfair to him?” Terra points out, feeling bad he has to talk about Ven like this, but if he doesn’t, the girl next to him can never learn to adapt here.

If she’s staying, she has to accept everyone, or else it just won’t work out and they may have to send her somewhere else. Earlier today, Eraqus had told him that would be the case if she doesn’t show any signs of recovery. He knows Ven would hate that, and so would Aqua.

Xion audibly gasps when he tells her this and concedes to his point, shifting her legs out of her cross-legged-position.

“I don’t _think_ I’m being unfair. I _know_ I am. I don’t mean anything by it; he seems so nice. I’m just a mess… You have no idea what it’s like to be used by the people you thought you could trust, and they force you to betray your only friends… I can’t open my heart to anyone else after that!” Xion cries, then promptly covers her mouth. She’s said too much.

Terra’s eyes narrow in deep thought at those choice words the raven-haired girl says.

Used?

Forced to betray her own friends?

Terra’s never experienced anything like that before, but he’d never want to go through something like that. Not in a million years.

“Maybe you can start by reading that letter you mentioned. If it hurts too much to talk to him, why not just write out your feelings? It could be a great way to find some peace when interacting with Ven. And a step closer to healing,” he says.

Xion lets out a small chuckle,

“I haven’t done much healing since I got here,”

“I find that hard to believe,”

“Why?”

“Because you’re talking to me,”

Xion’s heart starts beating faster again when he mentions that. It’s not in panic or fear, but in happiness..? Xion never gave it much thought, but he isn’t wrong. She didn’t even talk with Aqua as much as she’s talking with Terra. She then remembers what the young woman told her about Terra on the first day,

 

_“He’s a bit stoic, but once you give him the chance, he can a great friend to have in your corner,”_

 

A rare smile graces the girl’s features, and she can’t help but feel emotional again. He really is a great friend…

“You know what? You’re right. I’ll do it. I’ll read his letter…” she proclaims with a determined look.

“Good! But you do realize that we can no longer leave you alone for long periods of time right? I’ll have to tell the Master what you did, and I don’t think he’s going to like it,”

“Oh great,” Xion groans. Yeah, yeah she saw that coming too. No way in hell is Terra going to allow her to stay in that room unattended. She’s on suicide watch now.

Xion doesn’t know what will be in store for her in the next few weeks or even months, but at least now she can use this opportunity to find out what really happened to her that day.

The two spend 5 more minutes by the sunset and stay until it’s completely gone. The stars say hello for the first time that evening, and glitter the sky with hundreds of tiny lights.

 

Hopefully, this Master Eraqus won’t give her an earful as bad as Saix’s.

 

* * *

 

Back at the castle guest room, things are exactly where she left it. The piles of acorns are still stashed away at the corner, and the letter remains exactly where it was before on the floor. Ven has long left the scene, most likely assuming she didn’t read it.

She hopes that he never finds out about what she did.

Aqua and Terra came forward when she went back to tell her that she’s getting a new room. One that’s **downstairs** and **close to Aqua’s room.** They made sure to stress that bit for good measure. Tomorrow, Xion’s going to talk to Master Eraqus, someone she’s heard a lot of different things about.

She’s not sure what to expect, but she is nervous about it. He’ll probably try to give her special counseling after what Terra told him.

 

Xion pushes away thoughts of tomorrow and picks up the folded paper on the ground. With great hesitation and inner curiosity, she unfolds the piece of paper and her eyes maneuver to it’s contents.

 

[Click Here For Ambience (start at the beginning) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gSoD5ppuYI)

Hey, 

I didn’t know how to start this letter for the longest time. I kid you not, I have a pile of crumbled up pieces of paper of failed attempts of how to address you. So for this attempt, I decided I just want to be honest and true. My name is Ventus, and I am currently a keyblade wielder in training. We’re all keyblade wielders. I’m not sure if you know what that means, but essentially we train to keep the balance of worlds in order. I didn’t understand what that meant once, but after meeting you for the first time, I think I have a better idea. 

Aqua and Terra didn’t tell you because they didn’t want to break the world order, but I think you deserve to know what kind of people are taking care of you. 

I’m so sorry about what happened to you. I won’t pretend that I know what exactly happened or that I know what you’re going through because I don’t. But I do want you to know that as long as you’re here, you will never be alone again. 

I may not know what you’re going through, but I want to help. In any way I can. If you don’t want to see my face, or hear my voice, I get that. We can just continue ‘talking’ like this and I’ll be totally okay with that. I want you to feel comfortable with me, Terra and Aqua. We all care about you and are very worried about you. 

Maybe you can start small: write your name. 

I’d like to know what to call my new friend. (^-^)

Sincerely, 

Ven. 

Xion stands frozen as she rereads the letter three, maybe five times. A bubble of gratitude forms in the pit of her empty stomach. He’s so considerate not to ask why she’s feeling this way, or even question why she’s hiding behind closed doors now. She glances at the word keyblade on the letter. So her suspicions were correct. Maybe... Maybe they can help her understand what the keyblade actually is. If there truly are other wielders out there then she and Roxas aren't alone. 

If she had any tears left to cry, they’d be falling on the white sheet of paper with the cursive writing on it. He has very beautiful handwriting. She hopes he’ll be able to read hers.

 

The girl walks to her desk drawer and pulls out a pen and paper.

 

* * *

Meanwhile, Ven is in his own room, unable to sleep again. The stars are out, and it’s almost eleven in the evening. His thoughts have been on that same girl for days on end, and he knows that trend will inevitably continue.

She didn’t even say a word when he asked her to give him a chance, and he seriously doubts she’ll give a proper response to him as he wanted. The blonde sighs sadly and swings his legs off the bed. He’ll go watch the stars again. It’s better than sitting here waiting for a sleep that’s never coming.

He turns to go get his shoes when he sees a note slide from under his door. His sky blue eyes widen like saucers and a giant smile crosses his face. All thoughts of going outside gone like the wind, he rushes to the tile floor to get it. His heart starts beating erratically, and his hands are shaking.

It worked. Aqua’s idea worked. It actually worked. Ven internally screams for a good minute before opening the note with his now clammy hands.

His eyes hit the first sentence, and he’s already feeling over the moon with joy. Tears of happiness stream down his face, he can’t believe it’s actually happening. It’s such a simple sentence… But it means so much to him.

 

My name is Xion. 

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, everyone. I decided to make a few clarifications because I realized that I left a ton of information out during the final cut of this chapter. I'll do this only when I feel some things are not clear to my readers, and I have gotten questions on a discord server about the circumstances of Xion's situation. Hopefully, after reading my notes, some things will be more clear from now on. 
> 
> -When Xion first arrived at the Land of Departure, during her moment in oblivion, her newly formed heart rejected Sora's memories, causing it to separate them and leave Xion. I call this moment "the split." I'm choosing to tell you guys this because I'm not sure I'll be able to fully explain or fit this explanation into the story later down the line. It's just something that's heavily implied in this chapter, but here I'm confirming it. 
> 
> -Because Xion's ties to Sora are completely gone (since she no longer has his memories), she can no longer wield the Kingdom Key. I tried to imply it as best I could, especially in the beginning, but I wanted to say it here too in case no one caught that. 
> 
> -It's no secret that Xion has severe PTSD and depression, but she also faces moments of dissociation. This is due to her new heart still facing the aftermath of the split. Without Sora's memories, she no longer has a grasp of reality, and that combined with the time travel going on, she has moments where she'll freeze up and have spurts and mood changes. Whether she'll heal from that completely or not remains to be seen.
> 
> -Lastly, I know some of you are probably wondering why I chose for Xion to react calmly to Ven revealing that they wield keyblades.  
> Well, for one, Xion can no longer use the keyblade (it's always been a constant argument with that weapon anyhow), so after what she's went through and literally having a near death experience nothing surprises her anymore. Second, she's actually kinda glad that she and Roxas aren't the only people who can use the weapon, and since she already understands that the keyblade is special through the organization, at the end she's hopeful maybe she can learn a thing or two from her saviors. I'm sorry if that seems out of character for you, but It's how I chose to write that scene.
> 
> Alright folks, that's that! I hope these explanations clarified some things, and I look forward to writing chapter 5 of this story. Please don't forget to leave a kudos if you liked, and a comment. :) I want to know what you guys think of this story, and I would also like to know what you want to see. I'm here to give you a good story, so please don't be shy.


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